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I am doing this from memory, so I might make a mistake, but ... nah. The power of rhyme, when combined with juvenile contempt for educators' shibboleths,* left this 65-year-old MAD masterpiece firmly stamped into my brain:

I think that I shall never hear

A poem lovely as a beer

With golden base and snowy cap

The kind that Joe's Bar has on tap

...

Poems are made by fools, I fear

But only Schlitz can make a beer

And in honor of the Stupor Bowl, I give you one of MAD's "fight songs for small colleges." In this case, the cheer for the Craps Team (tune of "On, Wisconsin):

On, you shooters

On, you shooters

Get down on your knees

Roll a seven

Or eleven

But not boxcars, please

(Or snake-eyes)

Show your class, boys

Make 'em pass, boys

And you'll hear us shout!

And we'll keep on shouting

'til you all Crap Out.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

*"Trees" was crap to begin with.

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"It is sometimes possible to learn as much about poetry from bad poems as from good ones." — literary critic Mark Royden Winchell

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I can still remember decent-sized portions of several of those MAD fight songs.

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How about Tom Lehrers fight song, Fight Fiercely, Harvard? A master at his best.

Fight Fiercely, Harvard

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One of my favorites was the Schaefer jingle:

Schaefer -- is the -- one beer to have

When you’re having more than one

Schaefer -- pleasure -- doesn’t fade

Even when your thirst is done.

The most rewarding flavor

In this man’s world

For people who are having fun

Schaefer -- is the -- one beer to have

When you’re having more … than … one!

The jingle writer, Robert E. Swanson, had noted in the market research that Schaefer Beer was most often purchased by drinkers "about to enter a substantive drinking experience."

In other words, it was cheap, so you could drink a lot of it.

And he set that message to music and made it actually sound good.

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I don't remember hearing Shaefer jingles -- or seeing Shaefer beer -- in California, where I grew up and still live.

"Substantive drinking experience" is quite the euphemism.

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Yeah, Schaefer was an East Coast brand -- the Patriots used to play football in Schaefer stadium, and I always assumed it was a local brand to New England, but it turns out they were a New York company.

They're still around, but as a subsidiary of Pabst.

The classic ad:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/JLGI16XDY8M

And while Swanson wrote the jingle, it was James J. Jordan, Jr., who came up with the tagline. Here's the article where I got that "substantive drinking experience" bit from:

https://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/06/business/james-j-jordan-jr-advertising-sloganeer-is-dead-at-73.html

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The commercial for Castro foldout beds (convertible sofas) came close to pure poetry.

Who was the first to conquer space?

It's incontrovertible

The first to conquer living space

was Castro convertible.

The video that ran along with this rhyme showed a young girl in pajamas effortlessly unfolding a Castro convertible and climbing into it to put herself to bed. The girl in question as it turns out was a Castro daughter.

But there's more jingle on the way:

Who saves you space

with fine design?

Who saves you money every time?

Who's top in the convertible line?

Castro convertible!

I must admit that I find it a bit unsettling to remember all these ditties. Of course, that bit of rhyme helps make them unforgettable.

A few jingles delivered double entendres, another reason to recall them:

Nothing says lovin'

Like something in the oven

And Pillsbury says it best.

Get it?

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"Something *from* the oven"

https://youtu.be/dy4g1BKzVag?si=5NhgpZojRUl-tXx4

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As you say, the age of the jingle is past, and when jingles are used, are ... odd. Burger King has built a campaign around a musical piece that's deliberately sung badly. People complain about this (it is pretty bad), but of course BK is so very happy that people notice the ads. There are also still musical cues; the Liberty Mutual people have a cue for their "Emu Limu" ads (fairly blatant ripoffs of the Geico Gecko), which at least rhymes two words. As you also note, we're more often presented with familiar songs repurposed (sometimes relyricized).

On an entirely separate point, I will observe that the 30-second spots are often conceived, written, and executed with more skill (esp comedic skill) than a lot of what passes for comedy on TV these days. I deduce that the insurance market must be exceeding competitive, given how many resources the companies pour into creative ads. ("We've got a(u)nts", "Don't become your parents")

PS Thank you for avoiding the exceedlingly tired trope of "I understand that some sort of sportsball event is taking place this weekend".

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Oscar Meyer has a way

with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

In my 7th grade French class we had an assignment to translate an ad. Overachiever that I am, I ignored the print ads and went for the Oscar Meyer bologna song. If memory serves, I also attempted to sing it. It does not translate well.

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As a kid in the 1950s, one commercial jingle became my ear-worm: "It's delightful, it's de-lovely, it's DeSoto." (My folks had DeSotos for a few years.) I learned later it was derived from a Cole Porter song "It's De-Lovely." It must have been a 60-sec. commercial—there were several iterations of verse and chorus. Even as a kid, the words and rhymes seemed forced. The song lived on after the DeSoto was De-Commissioned.

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It's the parodies that I remember the most fondly (e.g., of the Pepsodent and Beefaroni jingles).

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Re: the first radio ad jingle in 1925: I Googled Burma Shave ads and found out they hit the roadways in 1926. Coincidence? Or in any way connected re: marketing? #justcurious

Re: verse that is “rhyme and chimed”: As a Dickinson aficionado, I figure she would have never made it in marketing w/writing jingles. Too much into slant rhyme -- and Alka Seltzer would have had something like...

With blue – uncertain stumbling – plop and fizz

Bestows relief for actual suffering such as this!

#justsaying

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Like WCCO, Burma-Shave was based in Minneapolis. There may have been some creative cross-pollination (or something in the water)

I like the notion of the Belle of Amherst turning her hand to ad jingles!

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My favourite un-rhyming song is When Tomorrow Comes by Eurythmics. You don't even notice it's not rhyming and then you do and then you wonder how tf they did that.

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Thanks for the nostalgic trip down memory lane, and the in-depth drill down on jingles!

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What you didn't include was any treatment to remove these earworms from our brains. I still hear marching children singing about wanting to be an Oscar Meyer Weiner after 60 years. How do I make it stop? Please!

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