16 Comments
User's avatar
W. Michael Johnson's avatar

"And still very much in circulation among the common folk like me and thee who shop in grocery stores and do our own cooking."

To be fair, I mainly just heat things up, but I'm pretty sure Donald John Trump has never cooked for himself or—especially—anyone else. He has never scrambled an egg. Never grilled a burger. Toast, ... maybe. But probably not. He cannot drive a car. He cannot type (or read). He cannot do laundry. He has never mowed a lawn, carried a load or raked a leaf. He is a parasite.

Expand full comment
Jeff Johnson's avatar

I have heard that he also doesn't use a computer. He has staff print out hard copies of what he wants to read.

Expand full comment
Nancy Friedman's avatar

He calls his iPad “the flat one.”

Expand full comment
heydave56's avatar

Thank you so much for making this term palatable again!

The mangling melon really put a bad taste in my mouth with his... uh, utterances.

Expand full comment
Mason Colby's avatar

I love that due to the legacy of French, in New Orleans people used to (and maybe some still do?) say “makin’ groceries”. https://youtu.be/pC1UkNZk3ns?feature=shared

Expand full comment
Nancy Friedman's avatar

“Groceries have been made.” LOVE THIS.

Expand full comment
Carol Edge's avatar

"internetally speaking": Is that a neologism? Neither I nor my dictionary know the adverb. It's beautiful and functional, and now part of my vocabulary. Thank you -- again!

Remember when, for publicity, Bush1 bought a pair of socks, maybe at a Sears, and didn't know how the checkout worked?

Expand full comment
Nancy Friedman's avatar

I made up "internetally—glad you like it! Here's the Bush 1 moment: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supermarket_scanner_moment

Expand full comment
Carol Edge's avatar

Thanks for that refresher on Bush's moment. Shows how time can twist memory. Bush's experience was similar but quite different from the one in the article.

Expand full comment
Ron Davidson's avatar

Don't forget Danceteria, on of the big 80's clubs in NYC.

Expand full comment
Lyn Chamberlin's avatar

I have nothing remotely witty or useful to add. This is hilarious!

Expand full comment
Andrew Alden's avatar

Apparently the thing with Heard and Macdonald Islands is that the territory has its own domain suffix, .hm, so maybe there's some dark crypto site using it.

Expand full comment
Quiara Vasquez's avatar

Sort of like a Tuvalu (.tv) situation? Possibly. Hm!

Or rather, possibly.hm ;')

Expand full comment
Nancy Friedman's avatar

Yep, it's .hm

Expand full comment
Caroline Smrstik's avatar

A joyful read for a sunny Monday. Thank you!

Expand full comment
Nancy Friedman's avatar

Watch the April 5 SNL cold open in which “Trump" (James Austin Johnson) pronounces it “groakeries.” https://youtu.be/VEle3pZRqmI?si=IAkx_whL_9WYW6y9

Expand full comment