Also: It's always fun to drop the little tidbit (no! not factoid!) that She Who Must Be Obeyed derives not from Rumpole but from Haggard and watch people's shocked faces.
I think there are a couple things at work. One is our fetishization of products, the (positive if problematic) feeling that our possessions, particularly in fashion, are our allies or even extensions of us. Hence the ladies calling the bags "she." It's a form of respect and adoration on one level. I could see myself thinking it was cute doing the same thing.
BUT whether we know it or not, we've been conditioned to think it's more natural to use "she" for objects because of our rich history of objectifying women, thinking of them as things to be owned and controlled, that exist for other people's benefit rather than independently. Hence the reason it would feel less natural, if not totally implausible, to hear a guy call his messenger bag "he."
I agree with you RE fetishization of products and, mostly, by women. I have no evidence but I would suspect that most people calling their items “she” are, themselves, female. There is a companionship we are attaching to our products. I also think there is cultural nomenclature at play where we call something she because others call their items she (ie your friend says “she’s beautiful” when talking about their purse so you return the language).
This post got me curious, because I've seen my friends use "I love him" and "I love her" interchangeably to discuss inanimate objects - gifs, shapes, tables - for a while now, and could never crack the pattern of what objects are hims and which are hers. A quick rundown, based on searching a Discord server I'm on, of what results I get for (non-human, genderless or unknown gender) hims versus hers:
The HER in "I love her" can be a table, a crossword puzzle with a particularly cute shape, a light-up hamburger tchotchke, a bird interrupting a soccer game, and a cute handbag (c. 2022, if you're curious about this use)
The HIM in "I love him" can be a drawing of a giraffe on rollerskates, an alebrije sculpture of a coyote, a lemon with several toothpicks stuck in it so it becomes a dog, a shop vac with googly eyes on it, and a gif of a rat rocking its head back and forth.
Small reference pool on several levels, but it's curious to me that most animals default to "this is a him!" I wonder if this is the influence of internet doggo culture - remember "here comes the boy!" ?
I believe the US Navy has been discouraging the use of "she" to refer to ships for a few years now, although I have no idea how well that's going. (I was Air Force, and retired 30 years ago.)
With respect to the current discussion, while I consider myself quite a liberal (socially and politically), perhaps I'm not fully liberated: at first read, I find this particular anthropomorphism a bit creepy. Have our electronic devices so divorced us from social interactions, that we have to find our besties in material possessions? Or, perhaps I'm entirely missing the point.
I wonder if there isn't a more generic linguistic thing going on with "she" in otherwise non-gendered references. In addition to ships, which have a quasi-official status as "she", isn't "she" often used in expressions like "she's a beauty" to describe e.g. a car or some other mechanical device? Or beyond.
Of course, the tie-in to feminine fashion does introduce a wrinkle.
I think cars are “she” because ships are “she”? But Jesse Sheidlower just Blueskied me with a big clue about the current trend: RuPaul's Drag Race. I will update the newsletter presently!
I know what the Mother ad means by 'cowboy-y', but I can't make up my mind whether I like it or not.
I had read several Haggard books in the late 1960s and early 1970s, so when Rumpole appeared a few years later, I knew where 'She-who-must-be-obeyed' came from. Unfortunately, I don't get many opportunities to impress people with my knowledge of the particular fact.
It is interesting. I can see why a nicely designed handbag might be called "she," or Davy Crocket's rifle, or even a giant web printing press. Guitars and pianos, cook stoves and precious gems. But clothing? "I just love my T-shirt. He has the cutest little mustard stain, and he's so forgiving."
In the English West Country many inanimate things can become animate by being called 'he' or 'she' (I can't think of any examples at the moment, but tools and appliances certainly figure). The tendency to animation strikes me potentially as a universal, or at least in the Anglosphere. There's an interesting Spectator article on the topic here. https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/i-know-how-ai-will-bring-us-down/ I give my cars names, e.g. Angelika and Kasper and refer to them as 'she' or 'he'. Doesn't everyone?
The use of 'she' for female garments seems like a canny PR move, but then you say the clue may be in Ru Paul's drag race. Which wouldn't surprise me, as it seems to possess cultural heft I fail to grasp.
I've never watched RPDR myself, nor have I ever given any of my cars a name, but I (sort of) understand the appeal of both. As for PR, I think this is a case of vox populi leading the way and brands following. Thanks too for the view from abroad!
Loved that Spectator article! Having grown up on so much English children’s literature, I totally get it. “If Mitie made a bot that grimaced and whimpered as it worked, or tutted in a sorrowful way over humanity’s inability to recycle, it would in an instant attract a volunteer fleet of Brits trailing after it, litter-picking for free.”
I only wish we could convince more Americans to pick up more litter. 😜
Excellent (as always) essay, Nancy!
Also: It's always fun to drop the little tidbit (no! not factoid!) that She Who Must Be Obeyed derives not from Rumpole but from Haggard and watch people's shocked faces.
Yes! And thanks, Benjamin.
I think there are a couple things at work. One is our fetishization of products, the (positive if problematic) feeling that our possessions, particularly in fashion, are our allies or even extensions of us. Hence the ladies calling the bags "she." It's a form of respect and adoration on one level. I could see myself thinking it was cute doing the same thing.
BUT whether we know it or not, we've been conditioned to think it's more natural to use "she" for objects because of our rich history of objectifying women, thinking of them as things to be owned and controlled, that exist for other people's benefit rather than independently. Hence the reason it would feel less natural, if not totally implausible, to hear a guy call his messenger bag "he."
Fascinating topic! Claps!
I agree with you RE fetishization of products and, mostly, by women. I have no evidence but I would suspect that most people calling their items “she” are, themselves, female. There is a companionship we are attaching to our products. I also think there is cultural nomenclature at play where we call something she because others call their items she (ie your friend says “she’s beautiful” when talking about their purse so you return the language).
Such good points. Thanks, Katy!
I agree.
Men and cars: "Let's take 'er out and see what she'll do." "Try giving 'er more gas."
Mules (hybrids produced from a male donkey and a female horse) are usually given female names (Sal, Betsy.)
This post got me curious, because I've seen my friends use "I love him" and "I love her" interchangeably to discuss inanimate objects - gifs, shapes, tables - for a while now, and could never crack the pattern of what objects are hims and which are hers. A quick rundown, based on searching a Discord server I'm on, of what results I get for (non-human, genderless or unknown gender) hims versus hers:
The HER in "I love her" can be a table, a crossword puzzle with a particularly cute shape, a light-up hamburger tchotchke, a bird interrupting a soccer game, and a cute handbag (c. 2022, if you're curious about this use)
The HIM in "I love him" can be a drawing of a giraffe on rollerskates, an alebrije sculpture of a coyote, a lemon with several toothpicks stuck in it so it becomes a dog, a shop vac with googly eyes on it, and a gif of a rat rocking its head back and forth.
Small reference pool on several levels, but it's curious to me that most animals default to "this is a him!" I wonder if this is the influence of internet doggo culture - remember "here comes the boy!" ?
Fantastic!
I believe the US Navy has been discouraging the use of "she" to refer to ships for a few years now, although I have no idea how well that's going. (I was Air Force, and retired 30 years ago.)
With respect to the current discussion, while I consider myself quite a liberal (socially and politically), perhaps I'm not fully liberated: at first read, I find this particular anthropomorphism a bit creepy. Have our electronic devices so divorced us from social interactions, that we have to find our besties in material possessions? Or, perhaps I'm entirely missing the point.
I wonder if there isn't a more generic linguistic thing going on with "she" in otherwise non-gendered references. In addition to ships, which have a quasi-official status as "she", isn't "she" often used in expressions like "she's a beauty" to describe e.g. a car or some other mechanical device? Or beyond.
Of course, the tie-in to feminine fashion does introduce a wrinkle.
I think cars are “she” because ships are “she”? But Jesse Sheidlower just Blueskied me with a big clue about the current trend: RuPaul's Drag Race. I will update the newsletter presently!
I know what the Mother ad means by 'cowboy-y', but I can't make up my mind whether I like it or not.
I had read several Haggard books in the late 1960s and early 1970s, so when Rumpole appeared a few years later, I knew where 'She-who-must-be-obeyed' came from. Unfortunately, I don't get many opportunities to impress people with my knowledge of the particular fact.
“Cowboy-y” is the invention of Jane on Jeans (linked in my caption), so we can't put the blame on the brand.
It is interesting. I can see why a nicely designed handbag might be called "she," or Davy Crocket's rifle, or even a giant web printing press. Guitars and pianos, cook stoves and precious gems. But clothing? "I just love my T-shirt. He has the cutest little mustard stain, and he's so forgiving."
In the English West Country many inanimate things can become animate by being called 'he' or 'she' (I can't think of any examples at the moment, but tools and appliances certainly figure). The tendency to animation strikes me potentially as a universal, or at least in the Anglosphere. There's an interesting Spectator article on the topic here. https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/i-know-how-ai-will-bring-us-down/ I give my cars names, e.g. Angelika and Kasper and refer to them as 'she' or 'he'. Doesn't everyone?
The use of 'she' for female garments seems like a canny PR move, but then you say the clue may be in Ru Paul's drag race. Which wouldn't surprise me, as it seems to possess cultural heft I fail to grasp.
I've never watched RPDR myself, nor have I ever given any of my cars a name, but I (sort of) understand the appeal of both. As for PR, I think this is a case of vox populi leading the way and brands following. Thanks too for the view from abroad!
Loved that Spectator article! Having grown up on so much English children’s literature, I totally get it. “If Mitie made a bot that grimaced and whimpered as it worked, or tutted in a sorrowful way over humanity’s inability to recycle, it would in an instant attract a volunteer fleet of Brits trailing after it, litter-picking for free.”
I only wish we could convince more Americans to pick up more litter. 😜