18 Comments

I don't know if it's already been tried, but they should just steal from the best and name their product "Plotz!" (It always makes me think of the Chinese cast of "What's Up, Tiger Lily?" looking for the "recipe for egg salad so good you could plotz." It would be great for booze, or even frozen fish sticks. "Your skin will look so great people will plotz!"

Expand full comment
Sep 19Liked by Nancy Friedman

These just suuuuuuuck. I don’t even have a more eloquent way to put it.

Expand full comment
author

😂

Expand full comment

"Plonts" in my mind evokes "wyngz," the name used to describe chicken wings that cannot legally be described as chicken wings based on how they were made. Which is weird - this is "fake" cheese but "real" plants, right? Why not call it... I don't know. "Chooze" or something? (That's a slogan for you - choose Chooze!)

Expand full comment
author

I wrote about Wyngz way back in 2011 (scroll all the way down): https://www.visualthesaurus.com/cm/candlepwr/phood-for-thought/

Expand full comment
Sep 19Liked by Nancy Friedman

The fairly recent word 'chonk' is another word that 'Tronque' will not want to be associated with.

You write: 'She now sells “a concise edit of products formulated specifically for the skin on the body”'. As a working editor (you know, words and punctuation and stuff), I have a hard time dealing with 'edit' in such contexts, but perhaps I'm getting old. I'm also wondering about 'skin on the body'. I don't think that anyone was going to confuse this skin with the skin on, say, apples or bananas, or even the skin that forms on the surface of milk as it is boiled.

Expand full comment
author

“Chonky” is often used to describe curely plump animals

I'm guessing “skin on the body” is meant to be distinguished from “skin on the face,” which OF COURSE requires a whole suite of different products. /s

Expand full comment
18 hrs agoLiked by Nancy Friedman

When I hear "Smucker's," I hear in my mind their TV commercials, with the soothing voice-overs by Mason Adams.

I thought their slogan should have been, "With a name like Smuckers, it better be good."

Expand full comment
18 hrs ago·edited 18 hrs agoLiked by Nancy Friedman
24 hrs agoLiked by Nancy Friedman

“Plonts” sounds like a bunch of unfortunate surprises you find in your dirty underpants. Whenever I see or hear the word, that’s what I think of.

Expand full comment
author

PLONTS in your ponts!

Expand full comment
20 hrs agoLiked by Nancy Friedman

Great!

5 plonts for PLONT

In the theater world, the word “pan” means a negative review.

The word “plont” could be given the same meaning in branding.

It could also be given a numerical scale - 1 plont not so bad, 5 plonts the worst of the worst.

Expand full comment

Can we talk about Goop, which you may have before. It checks the ‘say it/say it/ and say it again’ box — but gotta say, every time I reach for it, I’m still puzzled.

Expand full comment
author

There's also Supergoop, the sunscreen brand, which imo is a more fitting name.

Goop supposedly derives from Gwyneth Paltrow's nickname — her initials plus two O's — and although I will never like the name, she’s got the clout and the cash to make it stick and make it seem perversely cute

Expand full comment

I have no evidence for this, but: in the Mad Magazine parody of the film "Iron Man," one of the jokes is that Gwyneth Paltrow's character is reaching into RDJ's chest and says, paraphrasing here, "don't worry, I'm used to putting up with disgusting GOOP - I'm married to the guy from Coldplay!" The issue containing that parody was on newsstands in August 2008; I think Goop launched around the same time. It's extremely plausible that Paltrow was aware of the parody; could she have named the Goop brand after it?

Expand full comment

Agreed. A text book case of reverse engineering.

Expand full comment

Colorful footwear - Brothel Creepers, Plont Kickers

Expand full comment

🍊💩 - a “plont” if there ever was one!

Expand full comment