Re the correct lyrics to "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas": Yes, listen to Ella's version, and also you could keep the movie "Meet Me in St. Louis" on a loop until, I don't know, next year. It's so good.
You may have already read the article in Texas Monthly about them in which my favorite line is: “To read the posts on a Cybertruck owners' forum is to enter a world of pain and suffering.” Apparently this monstrosity is a “compendium of defects and malfunctions.” For only 100k! The owners can have their own Festivus…
Festivus grumbles. New holiday for me! Thanks for the laughs and the real lyrics. It somehow makes me happier knowing I have so much company in my dislike for the season.
I may have a few quibbles with the subjects you are grumpy about (The Sopranos and No Country for Old Men? Come on!), but I fully endorse your grumpy attitude, something sadly lacking at this schmaltzy time of year.
I watched two episodes of The Sopranos and felt no motivation to continue. So heavy-handed. (Mad Man? Even more heavy-handed, plus numerous anachronisms.) As for No Country, I've liked 75% of the Coen output; this film struck me — and I do men *struck*, as if by a blunt object — as vicious and amoral for no discernible reason.
You're not alone in your failure to appreciate Succession and Mad Men. To the list of supposedly hot series I would add Slow Horses and Shrinking -- both collections of people who are each and every one fucked up. Misery with clever dialogue is still misery. In the case of No Country for Old Men, I admit I enjoyed it (Martine emphatically did not) until the denoument, which I cannot understand and certainly did NOT enjoy.
I can hardly remember No Country (thankfully), but I do remember leaving the theater in disgust midway through, only to return (reluctantly) in the hope that things would improve. They did not. As for Slow Horses, I've enjoyed the series, but may not have felt the same way had I not first read all of the Mick Herron books on which the show is based. Herron's novels are funnier, more interior, and less violent than the TV show; he's also empathetic toward all of his fucked-up characters.
I thought I would make my mother-in-law's Belgian date nut bread to send off in Christmas boxes, even though I can't remember anyone liking it but me. I'd already chopped up the dates and the nuts when I realized I was going to have to separate eggs. Fortunately I had a carton of egg whites in the refrigerator, left from when I thought I was going to make meringues but then read on the carton that since they were pasteurized they wouldn't make good meringues. I whipped them up and just used two whole eggs instead of the four egg yolks called for elsewhere in the recipe. It felt like a win.
I guess I had a better year than I thought. I missed almost all the things, movies and events you list. I have of course seen the rolling dumpster and enough misplaced apostrophes to fill one, but other than that, I'm good.
I have watched none of the movies you dislike, and I'm not ashamed to say it. (Full disclosure: I don't watch many movies at all--simply because the blurbs about them do not excite me in any way.)
As for "menacemobile," I think that's an appropriate epithet for ANY Tesla product. But wankpanzer is always the best descriptor of the cybertruck.
Re the correct lyrics to "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas": Yes, listen to Ella's version, and also you could keep the movie "Meet Me in St. Louis" on a loop until, I don't know, next year. It's so good.
Wankpanzer! 😂😂😂
You may have already read the article in Texas Monthly about them in which my favorite line is: “To read the posts on a Cybertruck owners' forum is to enter a world of pain and suffering.” Apparently this monstrosity is a “compendium of defects and malfunctions.” For only 100k! The owners can have their own Festivus…
Festivus grumbles. New holiday for me! Thanks for the laughs and the real lyrics. It somehow makes me happier knowing I have so much company in my dislike for the season.
I may have a few quibbles with the subjects you are grumpy about (The Sopranos and No Country for Old Men? Come on!), but I fully endorse your grumpy attitude, something sadly lacking at this schmaltzy time of year.
I watched two episodes of The Sopranos and felt no motivation to continue. So heavy-handed. (Mad Man? Even more heavy-handed, plus numerous anachronisms.) As for No Country, I've liked 75% of the Coen output; this film struck me — and I do men *struck*, as if by a blunt object — as vicious and amoral for no discernible reason.
And yes, let's be grouchy together!
You're not alone in your failure to appreciate Succession and Mad Men. To the list of supposedly hot series I would add Slow Horses and Shrinking -- both collections of people who are each and every one fucked up. Misery with clever dialogue is still misery. In the case of No Country for Old Men, I admit I enjoyed it (Martine emphatically did not) until the denoument, which I cannot understand and certainly did NOT enjoy.
I can hardly remember No Country (thankfully), but I do remember leaving the theater in disgust midway through, only to return (reluctantly) in the hope that things would improve. They did not. As for Slow Horses, I've enjoyed the series, but may not have felt the same way had I not first read all of the Mick Herron books on which the show is based. Herron's novels are funnier, more interior, and less violent than the TV show; he's also empathetic toward all of his fucked-up characters.
I thought I would make my mother-in-law's Belgian date nut bread to send off in Christmas boxes, even though I can't remember anyone liking it but me. I'd already chopped up the dates and the nuts when I realized I was going to have to separate eggs. Fortunately I had a carton of egg whites in the refrigerator, left from when I thought I was going to make meringues but then read on the carton that since they were pasteurized they wouldn't make good meringues. I whipped them up and just used two whole eggs instead of the four egg yolks called for elsewhere in the recipe. It felt like a win.
I believe that's what they call a "life hack." Well done!
Perfect post for me!
Love this. Might have to come out of Substack retirement (briefly) to do my own roundup of my least fave things!
Yes!
This is exactly the holiday cheer I need. Thank you.
I guess I had a better year than I thought. I missed almost all the things, movies and events you list. I have of course seen the rolling dumpster and enough misplaced apostrophes to fill one, but other than that, I'm good.
That T-shirt image has burned itself into my retinas, and now whenever I close my eyes, I see it. Brrr
I have watched none of the movies you dislike, and I'm not ashamed to say it. (Full disclosure: I don't watch many movies at all--simply because the blurbs about them do not excite me in any way.)
As for "menacemobile," I think that's an appropriate epithet for ANY Tesla product. But wankpanzer is always the best descriptor of the cybertruck.
I see 100+ movies most years, a lot of them at film festivals. I'm game for almost any genre, but I draw the line at artsy-fartsy.
Wow. No Nickel Boys. No No Country for Old Men. No Phantom Thread.
Disliking what you're supposed to like, you're like an unostentatious, less self-promoting Fran Leibowitz.
YOU are one of my favorite things.
"An unostentatious, less self-promoting Fran Lebowitz" is going into my profile bio.